This Is Where You Will FIND Your PASSION

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Hey, welcome to this week's podcast. I'm Steven Webb. And I want to talk to you about why we fear

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the one thing we want. And very often you hear people talk about finding that purpose and passion in life,

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the one thing you really enjoy and go after it. And I think we're looking in the wrong direction.

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I think we need to look at the one thing that makes us fear most and the one thing that

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frightens us and if we go there That will, right there is where it's the one thing that we want.

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That's where we'll find our passion. That's where we'll find what's really important to you. That's where I'll find what's

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really important to me.

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That's what I want to talk about on today's podcast is, you know, diving into that fear and I'm using

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it partly as a therapy session for me as well because I've been avoiding my life recently. I've been running

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from the one thing that I love doing and it's

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starting to really get to me now because I know I'm doing it and that awareness is starting to... Yeah,

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really get to me. So I'm doing this podcast as partly a therapy session, I suppose. And I'm

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bringing you along with me and I hope that's okay. I hope you don't mind me doing that. So yeah,

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why why we fear the one thing we want and how we can... You know, together, perhaps in this next

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year, start to go for that one thing that we really want. But by looking at it differently. Because for

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certainly most of us, it's not working so far the way we're doing it, is it?

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Just before that, I want to update you on a couple of things. Or no first of all, update you

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on my health um One thing that I've had the last six or seven months is constant sweating. And

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it's part of the neurological problems. We've been paralysed and they think it might be a cyst on my spinal

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cord. But because of one thing at the moment, we're still waiting for the Mri scan, which is just driving

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me insane. I I just want to get it done um I'm not sleeping at night very well I'm

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Yeah I'm struggling I gotta be honest. On the 4th of January, I've got my a scan on my bladder

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to see what that is. But that seems to have settled down now. I've changed everything I'm drinking and things

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like that to not irritate the bladder at all. And I'm doing as many things I possibly can in order

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to sleep better and things like that. But I'm having to take a lot of painkillers just to stop the

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sweating. And it's not a warm sweat. It's a freezing cold sweat. And it's really difficult when

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it is cold outside. I'm having a layer right up. And the problem is then my layers get wet. So

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I'm outside. Oh, I'm sharing way too much information now. So I'm outside of my T-shirt and I was soaking.

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I'm freezing cold. And I just I just wanted this air that it's It's getting to me I'm I'm tired

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with it now. I just want to get it sorted. But we're working on it um But that's my health

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at the moment you know Apart from that, winter's come along the I'm getting older. My bones are creaking. I

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wake up in the morning I think oh and The minute I move. Do you recognise that um Also I

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want to update you on my marriagehip um I'm really enjoying it. I do think what would my marriagehip have

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looked like experiencing the role of being mayor if I was in really perfect health. But then I think there's

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never a perfect time. There would never have been a... If I'd done it 20 years ago, I would not

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have been ready. If I do it in five years time, maybe my health is worse. You know, the perfect

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time is now to do anything you want to do. So that's just bollocks really. Just looking up and going,

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maybe I could do it differently if I better help I do think that sometimes so I'm trying to take

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my own advice. I did warn you, this is the therapy session for me. But yeah, I've been to a

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lot of carol singing I've I don't recognise all the carols. I've been to the cathedral. Oh my God, we

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got the most amazing cathedral right in the centre of true We should embrace that so much more. So it's

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a very mixed bag. Excited, amazing Christmas. But then there is the concerns, the overhanging

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problems of the health and all that so So what's there something that is always holding us back? You

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know, what is that one thing that's always holding us back? That's what I want to talk about today. And

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I want to talk about it in regards to me as well um What's the one thing holding me back?

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Well, I know what I want empire I I want to leave a brilliant legacy. I want to leave.

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I want someone to stand up at my funeral and say he did a good job. You know, he loved

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deeply. He had an open heart. He was able to change his mind. He was open with people. He he

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he was kind um And he did his best and he lived his life to the full. Well, in order

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to do that, I've got to do that. You know um it's no good just hoping someone's going to look

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up and see what my dreams and aspirations for my life is if I don't actually. Live those

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dreams and those aspirations um And it's the same for you. No one's going to stand up and say how

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you lived your life and who you are unless you show people who you are

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um you know If you want to be the most amazing, I don't know, skydiver, no one's going to stand

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up and say he was an amazing skydiver if you don't go and do it

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and And I think that's the one thing we all want. We do want some kind of legacy. Even if

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the legacy is something humble but really, really damn important like he was just caring or you were just caring.

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You know, she was just this wonderful neighbour doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things how big because we

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need everybody.

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But then you gotta look at what's stopping you doing that. And for me... I have this fear

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of letting people down, and I I know where it come from. It come from me when I was a

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lot younger, seven, eight years old, and my parents spit up. I don't think it was my fault they spit

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up. I I can't be out responsible for that one. But I think I can remember having a conversation

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with my mum. And of course, I know where she was coming from when she said this. But it was

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the way it landed on me at the time and the way I've carried it. Not what mum meant, but

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it's the way I've carried it. And when I looked up and said to mum about dad leaving, and she

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said, yeah, you're the only man in the house now. You'll be okay. You'll be able to step up and

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all that. And I think she meant it as like a prep talk for me that things will be okay.

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But I took that as, I can't do all the dad things. I can't go out and earn a living.

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I probably didn't think that at seven. I probably thought about you know laying up a table, clearing the table

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and all maybe. But I thought I couldn't do all these things. And I can remember feeling that I would

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let everybody down, let my family down. And I've carried that a long way. And I allow that to influence

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me today and I And I know I do. Because I procrastinate and I avoid going live and I avoid

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doing all these things. And anybody that's followed me for a long time knows this about me. They know it.

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Well, maybe they don't, but I feel as if the whole world knows it. Seven billion people. I you know

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I feel like I've said it enough that seven billion people should know it um Of course not everybody knows

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it. Just because I know it doesn't mean I say anybody knows it.

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But I I run from this. One thing that I want. I want to be an inspiration I want to

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I want to leave a legacy in the world that influences and helps people live a more compassionate,

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loving, open-hearted life. A more peaceful life.

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Yeah, it's the one thing I I run from doing is teaching that, showing that. And

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I'm not quite sure how to do it.

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But I need to show up. And I don't show up a lot. I don't show up nowhere near as

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much as I could. Because I feel as if I haven't got that deep wisdom. I feel as if I

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haven't got that one thing that I need to show up and say.

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And while I'm saying this, think about your life and think about what you want, the legacy you want to

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live. And what are you not doing? Where are you not showing up? What are you

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procrastinating about? What are you doing to avoid the one thing that you want to do? You know, think about

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that. And it's not morbid to think about your legacy, to think about your obituary and all that. And it's

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not morbid at all. I think it's very sensible. I think it makes perfect sense. It's one of Stephen Covey's

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in The Seven Habits for Highly Successful People when he says, look at your obituary. What are they going to

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say about you? And when he talks about highly successful people, he's not always talking about big

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Ceos and people that... He's talking about being a successful human. You know, what does it mean to be a

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successful human? That's a good podcast yeah Should I do that podcast? What do I believe it means to be

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an essential human? Well, I'll quickly I'll quickly like look at it now, but to be open and caring,

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to not create any more pain in the world, to be who you are, to honor the best you

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can be um to grow courage, to move in the right direction um Not

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to hurt others that That's the kind of thing that, you know, if you can get to the end of

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the day and you don't hurt anybody today and you don't make anybody's life worse and even if you just

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improve someone's life by a smile and things like that, when you get to the end of the day or

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the end of the week and you've done that, you've been a damn good human. You're doing better than a

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lot of people out there if you just get to the end of the day and you don't make anybody's

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life worse. So, yeah. Anyway, going back to Going

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back to why we fear the one thing we want. And you hear these memes now all the time and

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lots of people talk about them. And you hear like, you've got to get out of your comfort zone and

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things like that. I don't think it's that simple. Because I think you've got to become uncomfortable. You've

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got two choices. Two things move us into action. It's either we're pushed because we've got that uncomfortable

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that we cannot stay there. Or we're pulled. And we're pulled with passion. We're

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pulled with that drive that nothing will stop me doing this. Well, unfortunately, most people, including myself, don't

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don't end up with that drive of passion, that pulling. It's really difficult to find where that's to,

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to overcome the friction of the fear of doing it. You know, that fear of me down is is really

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real um And I know by talking about it, it makes it more real now. But, you know, it is

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something that holds me back um Maybe there is something else that I haven't seen it yet So there's always

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shadows that we haven't seen. But that's the one I I think is the one holding me back. And

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to overcome that, I haven't got the big pull. So I'm starting to become really

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uncomfortable. And the uncomfortableness is becoming so uncomfortable that I'm getting older

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I'm You know, time speeds up. I blink and a week's gone by. I blink

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again and three three weeks have gone by. You know, 2020 went by and like, what happened in 2020? Nothing.

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You know, or not nothing. There's loads of good things happen But a few other things happen as well, I

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think, I believe. You know, 2020 just went by in a blink of an eye. Yeah, but we

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just... The older you get, you just see the end of your life coming up very quickly. And I

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think I'm getting uncomfortable with that um I'm realising I'm not immortal, which is ridiculous to realise

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that. What, you suddenly get to like, I don't know, 45, 40, and you realise you're immortal it

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Seems ridiculous, but that's the reality.

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This is the reality, isn't it? Right um But yeah, we suddenly think, oh, we've only got another four five

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ten twenty years whatever it is. And that uncomfortableness of I haven't achieved. And with that uncomfortableness

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is really starting to beat down on me now. And it's starting to drive me towards more what I want

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and I want you to look at your life and go, you know, instead of trying to find that

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one thing that motivates you, that one thing that's pulling you, because if you haven't found that yet, you're not

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going to find it very easily. I know you're pulled by lots of little things you want to do, but

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if the pull isn't that great to really move you towards it every single day,

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then you have to look at what the fear is holding you back. And maybe that fear can become that

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uncomfortable that it can push you. And I think that's the reality. I think if we all look at our

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lives in that way, go to the place that's so damn uncomfortable that you cannot stay there. And then you

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have no damn choice but to do what you want to do in life, that you achieve what you want

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to achieve you know How many times have you felt like you know don't worry about me, when my back's

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against the wall, I come out and I'm good and I can sort it then but don't wait till your

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back's against the wall. Put your back against the wall. You know, get into that uncomfortable place where you've got

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to go and do it. And I'm talking about

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me avoiding things. That's why I haven't done a podcast for a while. I've recorded several but not released them

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because I thought they're crap. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to record a podcast this week

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and I'm going to put it out next Friday after this one. And even if it's crap, you're still going

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to get it anyway um because that's what I need to do.

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And even if I judge it, which is also very subjective and it is you know. I've done it in

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the past. I've put it out and goes, oh, this isn't so good. And people have gone, yeah, that's wonderful.

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Sometimes they're the best ones. Sometimes they're the best ones. So I'm wondering how to finish this podcast.

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And

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I struggle with this podcast massively um I know just saying that makes it even more real, but I struggle

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because I feel like I have something really, something deep and profound to say, but I don't know how to

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say it. I don't know how to give you that depth from my heart. You know, my heart has this

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huge depth, but it doesn't have words. And

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yeah, I want you, I don't know. Okay. So

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I'm going to give a natural end to this podcast and ask you to, you know, email me. Go over

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to my website, StevenWebb.uk and email me and tell me what you fear and

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where are you gonna where do you need to go in order to get to where you want to go?

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You know, force yourself into that position where you've got to get out of the comfort zone um

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It'd be amazing where it leads us. Where can it lead us to next year? That'd be good. So

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I'm trying to think of a natural end to this podcast, as I say. So I'm gonna do a podcast

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next week. Even if I think it's subpar, I'm still gonna release it next week. And I'm gonna concentrate on

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the one thing I'm doing a podcast every week. And if you can give this a review, that'd be absolutely

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amazing. Don't do anything else. Just give this a review. And then when you're gonna review perhaps email me.

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Take care, guys. I'm Steven Webb. And this is the podcast that helps you to think a little bit differently.

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I love you and take care.